Things I’ve learned from my children

  As anyone with kids will agree with, no book can prepare you for your children. Ever. And just when you think you’ve seen/heard/smelled it all, they come up with something new to try your patience, make you pull your hair out or even sit down and marvel at something you’ve seen everyday but to them is something that is suddenly ’amazingly cool’.

This year is going to be an emotional one for me. My daughter,now 17 ( my firstborn), is in her final year of high school and will graduate next May. This morning she brought me the picture information handout from school, and as I sat here at my desk, looking at the leaflet before me with pictures of graduating kids who look far too perfect,and full of hope, the tears welled up in my eyes. My girl is a young woman, and my role as her mother is about to change again. (thanks GR, for pointing that out)

I looked back at her as she walked away, and wondered where the time went? Suddenly it doesn’t seem that long ago that she would toddle out onto the deck of my first apartment and pull every single flower off the plants, and when that task was completed, she would go back and pull off all of the buds too.  I learned to love the look of simple green foliage in planters that year, because I didn’t have the heart to interrupt the serious concentration she displayed during her daily flower and bud removal sessions. She was one.

As I waited for an appointment with my OB during my last pregnancy, I happened upon a book for expecting parents. Within, I discovered a pie chart showing an individuals life, divided into segments that represented different time periods, from birth to death. The purpose? To show an expecting mother the actual time period you have your children at home , in relation to the rest of your lifespan. Let me assure you, it is a very minute piece within the pie of life.

 In other words, appreciate it, savour it, and take heart during those difficult first years when you feel like you have no time with your partner, because you will have the rest of your lives together. The kids only stay for so long. Knowing what I know now, that chart is more true than any new mother can possibly imagine, and if you don’t take those special moments and cherish them ( the good AND the bad) you will have regrets. It’s over in the blink of an eye.

So, here as a mother of 4 , with one ready to go, and one still trying go figure out if his hands actually belong to his body, and two more in between, are just a few  things I’ve learned from my kids, that (now) I can look back and laugh at or simply enjoy the memory. I’m sure the learning isn’t done either.

- if you try to grab a gerbil by the tail as hes escaping, you will be left holding the bloody tail skin in your hand – sans gerbil.

- to a three year old, those maxi-pads with wings look an awful like little white airplanes, made even more fun because of the peel off adhesives on the back so you can stick them to the inside of the window for everyone on the street to see.

- shubunkin goldfish can survive an encounter with a large cup of cold coffee and a whole can of fish food

- kids wont remember what you told them about cleaning their rooms, but will remember every word you said about your annoying neighbour/mother-in-law/boss and share it in their presence.

-VCRs look like robots with mouths who like to eat grilled cheese sandwiches and candy corn.

-kids are just as proud of their parents achievements as we are of theirs,although they don’t tell us.

- three year olds are observant and curious creatures who, during public bus rides, will be sure to ask you all about the man who stinks like poo, or the fat lady who has wet armpits, or why people pick their noses, or that  they just noticed that their testicles are growing.

-male ladybugs have gotten the short end of the stick and don’t like being called girls.

- when you hear the toilet flush, and then the words ‘ uh oh’ – its already too late to stop the water, or catch the item they flushed.

- at some point, every kid cuts their own hair and it will invariably be right before school pictures or a visit from grandma.

- dandelions and daisies are more precious than florist roses and given with much more love.

-dust particles floating on the air in a sunbeam are, in fact, quite  beautiful.

It really is true when people say that as kids grow older, they wont remember if you had a perfectly cleaned house,or fancy vacations, but they will remember surprising things that made an impact on them. Recently my teens shared some things with me that they look back on with extreme fond memories and I was surprised at what came out. Some of them were such small things, yet left huge impressions on them.  Let me share with you the most coveted ones.

They remembered every time I showed up for awards night and Christmas concerts, and that I always tried to make them laugh while they were on stage, that I caught frogs in the ditch with them  in Steveston even though other parents thought I was weird for it, that I let them stay up late every year to watch meteor showers in August, and made them wish on every  single one, that I taught them how to ride a bike, and how not to do jumps ( can you say stitches and a bent frame?) , that I would catch garter snakes for them and that the other dads always thought that was cool because the other moms were scared ,  that I made them ice-cream cone cupcakes, that I took them outside to learn about bugs and slugs and tadpoles and leeches and anything else that mattered and finally, that I didn’t care if anyone thought we were silly.

Made me appreciate the little moments I have with my new sons even more, because I really never know whats going to be a memory for them. Enjoy your kids. Appreciate them while they are yours to care for.