Black and White, with little in between

It seems strange to be posting back on the blog today – the last couple of weeks have been hectic, leaving little time for anything other than sleep!  Summer is coming  to a close and even the hottest days now have that undefinable undertone of autumn approaching…this is my favorite time of year, without a doubt. Blackberry juice stains, warm breezes through the long meadow grasses, cool starry nights – all things summer memories are made of.

I was recently told that I’m very black and white in my opinions and thoughts - to put it nicely!  I would have to agree with that ; I’ve never been one to hem and haw, and I do have an opinion about almost everything. I know I have a strong personality and that sometimes people have a hard time with my forthright manner and truthfulness. I’m not a jerk, by any means, I just don’t have time for nonsense and games.  On that note, I thought I would share with you my theory on life, and what works for me.

I spent my twenties in a fear-filled abusive relationship, during which time I also had a fight with cancer. I survived both, but the impact those experiences had on my personality were huge. The basic me never changed: an almost childlike curiosity, playful, cheeky, those traits were still there under the cloak of adult seriousness and sadness. After I left him, the person I am today emerged and developed, having been suppressed expression for years. As I became more confidant, I realised that the only way for me to be happy, was for me to live my life on my terms. I wont waste my time faking my life away anymore – yes, I can play the “make nice” game with others when needed, but really, why would I want to spend my time with people that I don’t like? People put up with way too much s***  from their families, their “friends” and everyone else.  I don’t excuse peoples bad behavior with the statement  ” Thats the way he/she is. ” Blood relation doesn’t give someone the right to make trouble in your life. Family or not, I realise that I cant change other peoples bad behavior, controlling behavior or their choices, but I can change the way I deal with it.

I know that , corny as it sounds, life really is precious, and shouldnt be wasted.  I set boundries with the people around me, if I need to, to protect my family and life. My husband and children are my highest priority, followed by work, friends and family. Why surround yourself with negativity, when you are actually  in charge of your life?  Live the life that matters to you, and think about what you would change if you found you were going to die in a year. It’s amazing all the s*** you can cut out of your life when you look at it from that viewpoint.

I’m Laila Yuile, and this is how I see it.